["...they're all serenely conformed within a euphoric agony known as me;
I introduce to you; the miscellaneous crowd!"]
Over several years I've been a series of alter-egos, some are roles that were portrayed in the limelight possessing my multitude of character traits that, until now, never had a name bestowed upon them. An alter-ego is defined as another side of oneself; a second self.But I have several sides, so without further ado, allow me to introduce; the miscellaneous crowd!:0)
The foundation has been set, therefore, all my character traits’ are all serenely conformed living within a euphoric agony - known as me. NiCole is the key element, being a free spirited, wonderfully weird, beautifully chaotic dreamer (the obsessive compulsive with A.D.D)NiCholas is definitely the ‘gender bender’ the self explanatory subliminal male; a powerful hybrid: The ego of a man trapped in the body of a woman (a woman with a big dick (de)attached)...Scarlett O'Hara; she is vain, somewhat spoiled, has a high intellect and makes surface efforts to live up to the expectations her culture demands, but fears discovery by society of her true self, she lacks introspection, and is only aware of how much she cares for others until; its to late – however, due to trails and tribulations, over time this character hardens creating a form of tough skin and having the ability to roll with the punches and curve balls that life (spontaneously) throws......Anastasia Beverhausen; Anastasia like Russian royalty and Beaverhausen like - where the beaver live. This bold character was mimicked from the television show Will & Grace, several quotes and come-ons reminded me so much of my verbal forwardness I had no choice but adopt the name… and last but not least, the favorite ego of them all, Ramona Victoria "Rammy" Flowers, the name was adopted after knowing her background (I have always been a comic book geek, and she is my all time favorite) for those who truly know ME were able to concur to this choice: she’s an American expatriate who now works as a "ninja delivery girl" (which I think is utterly awesome)revealing very little and is very guarded about her past, she’s capable of traveling through subspace and has seven evil exes who challenge her love interest (Scott Pilgrim) for her affection. When fighting, she typically uses an oversized mallet as her weapon, which she can retrieve from her purse through the use of subspace. She changes her hairstyle frequently and becomes anxious when a certain exes name (Gideon) is mentioned or brought up. Due to her power over Subspace, her head begins to glow when she is upset or jealous.
["The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind."]
On today's edition of 'Sonnet Saturday' I choose one of my favorites...
Love Jones ~ 2007 Darius Lovehall (Larenz Tate) is a poet who is giving a reading at the Sanctuary, an upscale night club presenting jazz and poetry to a bohemian clientele. Shortly before his set, he meets Nina Mosley (Nia Long). They exchange small talk, and Darius makes his interest clear when he retitles a love poem A Blues For Nina.
Say baby, can I be your slave?
I've got to admit girl, your the shit girl,
and I am digging you like a grave.
Now do they call you daughter to the Spinning Pulsar,
or maybe Queen of 10,000 Moons, Sister to the distant yet
Is your Yemaya? Oh hell nah, it's got to be Oshun
Ooh is that a smile me put on your face child?
Wide as a field of jasmine and clover
Talk that talk honey, walk that walk money
High on legs that'll spite Jehovah
Shit, who am I,
It's not important
But they call me brother to the night
and right now I am the blues in your left thigh
trying to become the funk in your right
Who am I? 'll be whoever you say
But right now I'm the sight raped hunter
blindly pursuing you as my prey
And I just want to give you injections of
sublime erections and get you to dance to my rhythm
make you dream archtypes
of black angels in flight
upon wings of distorted, contorted metaphoric jizm
Come on slim, fuck your man, I ain't worried about him
It's you who I want to step to my scene
Cause rather than deal with the fallacy
of this dry ass reality
I'd rather dance and romance your sweet ass in a wet dream
Who am I, well they all call me
brother to the night and right now I am
the blues in your left thigh, trying to be the funk in your right
Is that alriii-iiight?
Combining my love of all things art, I've decided to dedicate Saturday's to poetry.
((Introducing 'Sonnet Saturday's))
In my adolescent years I remember school house rock, the transformers, the thunder cats and eating a bowl full of apple jacks 7 o’clock on Saturday morning; and now in my lifes chapter of adulthood I wake up and tune out to classics like never before; Nina Simone, Smokey Robinson, Sade, Prince, Teena Marie, Jimi Hendrix...
Music and poetry go hand-in-hand, think about it, the full lyrics, a hook (or) bridge can be so eloquently phrased/worded that it'll bring about a mental pleasure that can only be appreciated by those who can truly understand... the power of words!
:Poets and poetry lovers; snap yo' fingers and hold your lighters up:
adj. A word describing any quality that is so indescribable that you have no real word to say it with :)
So, I took a ‘blogging hiatus’ to utilize what so many either take for granted, or don't appreciate in all its simplicity – Life (and the people who fulfill it) because just living is not enough, one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.
Within a few short paragraphs’ I’ll sum up my Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious state of mind/way of being - having a plethora of titles that I hold near and dear, in September 2010 my best friend of over 10 years bestowed a title upon me, that I graciously accepted… …I'm a God Mother, I not only take it as a honor but a responsibility. Planning to be a positive role model, never misguide or deceive and'll kick whomever ass needs to be kicked for the sake of my God Son – So Sincere.
[“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”]
We love with a love that was more than love; so I ask who, being loved, is poor.Another chapter in my life would have to be contributed to my companion – The Mr.Having NO intentions of ever being a ‘married woman’ I am a living testament to the saying ‘when you’re not looking for love, that’s when you find it…”and exactly one week after celebrating our fourth year anniversary he was hospitalized, with chest pains and shortness of breath. Considering that we’ve experienced several losses within the past two years, this situation was not taken lightly. Fortunately, medical attention was provided and even a ‘silver lining’ peeked from the clouds, the Mr. has broken his 15+ year nicotine habit (cold turkey) and his eating habits have curved tremendously; being more aware of his sodium intake and increasing fruit/vegetables in his diet. Contrary to popular belief there are such things as 'Happy Marriages' he’s my ace, the hugs to my kisses - love must be as much a light, as it is a flame. To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.
["I plan on completing my forever with you; we've barely scratched the surface"]
Above all, I couldn'tt lose your desire to walk -- I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from illness.I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it...Thoughts come clearly while one walks, its therapeutic not only for the physical but mental as well, the simple stride of placing one foot in front of the other mixed with a custom playlist to my routine acts as a release; a vigorous walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world.
[“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.”]
…well, the sun is shining and a cool breeze is summoning me.So I’ll close this post with the simple expression of gratitude, because if a person isn’t thankful for what they’ve got, they’re unlikely going to be unthankful for what they’re going to get.
[“If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.”]
It is popular belief by most people that their destiny is predetermined...
But what if that mythical 'Book of Life' was opened and look, all blank pages. Living involves tearing up one rough draft after another, so, if you reflect back what would your story portray... ...is it even worth reading?
Most people can be defined by there networking pages, that's why employers are utilizing .com sites, and if you were to do a quick run through, what character traits are displayed? One act that is commonly shown should be classified as 'Cyber.phrenia' at first glance all seems pleasant, then it ventures into shameless postings of sexual escapades, belittling and/or arguing back and forth -- even in some cases threatening bodily harm -- and come Sunday they're praising Jesus... Evidence that you're young only once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
What of the character portraying a leading role as the 'Unscrupulous Mother' putting more enthusiasm into pursuing random men and bags of 'kush' rather than spending much needed quality time with her children, displaying an exuberant zeal for being 'hood' - as if having street credibility is an adequate reputation... a child needs a role model, not a O.G. My heart goes out to those diligent parents striving each day to provide, nurture and care for their children trying to instill moral values to ensure they maintain productive mannerisms and quality goals - because they have to grow up with a generation of contented bodies and discontented minds - they're mostly all signposts and no destination.
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it failing to realize, when diving to the bottom of pleasure its most likely you'll bring up more gravel than pearls. A 'Womanizer' is a common character trait, useing charm, charisma, the manipulation of words and empty promises in order to maintain a high level of 'conquests', continuously adding names to his Hall of Fame while irresponsibly procreating without a single form of equity (bank account, home/apartment, legitimate income... S-T-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y), usually a new position of responsibility will show a man to be a far stronger creature than was supposed... but, history has shown us that it is much easier to become a father than to actually BE one. We have a Bill of Rights, what we need is a Bill of Responsibilities!
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be... maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets... The purpose of life is a life of purpose; a life without cause is a life without effect. We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning
...so, what will your legacy be?
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." .NiC.